Posts Tagged ‘Feelings’

Question by centwatson: How should I feel? My girlfriend and I went to a bar this weekend. My feelings are really hurt, should they be
Me and my girlfriend went out this weekend to a bar Saturday night. She danced with this other woman which didnt really bother me, its just dancing right? She danced with her several times which still didnt bother me, but at the end of one of the songs she picked her up off the floor and gave her a big hug. It really bothered me. Also she pulled her shirt up in front of the other people that were at our table which most of them were my family. Yet when I went to dance with this one guy she showed her ass. She also tipped the bar tender 20 dollars twice. Am I over reacting or should my feelings be hurt? How should I handle it? For the rest of the night I did not speak to her nor would I have anything to do with her, now she blames me. Saying I left her alone and thats why she did it. But that was after what she did.

Best answer:

Answer by januari c
thats rude and i would be hurt

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

My Ex Kissed Me But Says He Doesn’t Have Feelings For Me

Ending a relation specially during a breakup is a terrible feat to achieve. However, there are a different points and insights that helps you attain it less hurried and more instantaneous. Certainly to forget about a break up becomes smoother after some time but you can make that time move faster by keeping a positive attitude and concentrating on you. Coping with a break up is actually an ideal time to focus on your life and on correcting yourself.

Click – Steps to Get Over BreakUp Fast
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In spite of all tha pain to cope with a low self esteem during breakup is frustrating it may be luring to keep meeting the person you broke up with and questioning why or try to put the pieces back together. This is the darkest thing you desire to play because it retains the person clear in your head. You need a little space to have some perspective, examine your feelings and look at what was wrong from a viewless perspective. Under no settings should you encounter in intimate activity with your ex.

When you are trying to get over a breakup, maintain your stress level and with your emotions at first. You may sense anger, sorrow, and guilt feelings. If you call for a good cry for awhile, don?t be terrified to do so. It can be cathartic. People who care are there to assist you so use them. Verbalize to them about your pain and heed to their advice. Once in a while a family member can give a fresh aspect on matters and make you feel better. If nothing else takes place, you can be absorbed with their company so you are not continually reasoning of your ex

Take a look at your life. When forgetting about a break up, it is the perfect time to worry about your wants and necessities. Who cares what your ex thinks? Do you wish to shave your head, get new garments, take a course or make some changes in your life? This is a perfect time to do those things. Cuddle yourself a little while. You may not have bought a new clothing a month ago but treat yourself now. You will feel a lot better. Don?t overdo it, though, or your money matters might supercede your relationship agonies! Getting over a bad break up is not simple, but with a few hints and thoughts, getting over a breakup it is viable.

LA World Premiere, 6 February 2009. Book & lyrics by Phil Olson, Music by Paul Olson. With: Tom Gibis and Judy Heneghan. Directed by Doug Engalla. (c) 2009. www.adonthugmecountyfair.com

The best unique, educational baby toys! Learn all about baby toys that help your child express feelings in this free video clip on baby safety and baby learning toys. Expert: Daniella Buettner Bio: Daniella Buettner, toy buyer at Right Start, has extensive experience in childrens goods and services. As a mother of three, Daniella incorporates her life experiences daily into her work. Filmmaker: Traci Holsey

A friend of mine called the other day from Los Angeles and said she wanted to set up a phone consultation for her dog.  I said “you don’t need to”.  She said “why not?”  I said “because I already know what is going on.”  (Not that I’m that psychic mind you – but as an Animal Communicator I’ve seen this a million times).  I continued “you’re calling me because your dog is depressed.”  She agreed.  “She came to you depressed and fearful and you are depressed at times so the two of you are a great mirror and commiserate when you’re depressed.  When you’re not depressed, you spend the rest of the time feeling sorry for her past.  Therefore, you are falling into what I call default behavior.”  I told her to call me in a few days if she still wanted a session.  

We all fall into default behavior.  We don’t allow the moment to exist.  I explained to my friend that at that point, that dog was lucky.  In fact, it had been lucky for all the years they were together.  It no longer had the sad circumstances it had before and in fact, she had a great life.  The dog had a kid and a cat to look after, my friend loves her – it doesn’t get any better. 

When I saw her in person weeks later I asked about the dog.   She said the switch was overnight.  Once she acknowledged that this was a great life NOW, the dog could enjoy life.

Not everything is that quick, but really it could be.  When we default into certain feelings, we allow the animal to ‘get away’ with certain behavior that is not serving the harmony of the household.  If we continue to feel sorry for someone or stay hurt by something, we are not allowing them to be all that they can be. 

This is not to say that we need to be in denial, it’s the opposite.  By staying in the past feelings, we are actually denying them the present (and who is better than the present than animals?!)  Sometimes you already know the painful circumstances that the entire household is clinging to.  And if you don’t, it’s a good time to call in an Animal Communicator.  But meanwhile, acknowledging the circumstances is important, but also acknowledging how great things are NOW is vital.  They don’t have to stay in feelings.  Feelings are like waves at the ocean, they come and go.  (We all tend to forget the go part.)  Sometimes giving it a date to let it go – like we can all feel badly about this until next Friday is a great way – you all might get bored by Tuesday and be on with the day.

The following are typical examples of things WE ALL DO:

Feeling guilty about going out of town or being away all day.

If guilt was measured in dollar amounts and put into a bank account, it could give the Vatican a run for its money.  And there’s no place better than to do this with our animals!!  There are lots of ways around this.  First of all, you have to do what you have to do (as in j.o.b.) in order to afford this dog/cat/bird/goldfish/horse the life of luxury he/she gets to lead.  Secondly, you can say everything with a positive tone.  “I will be home at 4:00 and we get to go on a walk.”  While you are away, replace the guilt with the feeling of looking forward to connecting with your friend.  Believe it or not they pick up on stuff when we are away and what would you rather send, something good or bad?  Make your vacations a vacation for them, they get to eat all that stuff I would never feed you with the housesitter, etc.  It’s fun, all fun, they respond to an uplifted spirit. 

 Feeling guilty about adding a baby or another pet to the household.

Life is life.  While your dog/cat/bird/goldfish/horse may have been the baby before and a real live baby is coming into the home, you may want to include them – that you need their help – employ them.  They can always use an extra job.  They can be in charge of the safety or training of the new animal….etc.  By feeling guilty, you are setting up room for them to be resentful and act out.

Feeling sad about an animal’s past.

Here’s a big one.  Again, the example at the top is truly how quickly we can help them let it go.  If that doesn’t do it, as I said, let them download with an Animal Communicator.  Sometimes just getting their story “off their chest” so to speak allows freedom.  In addition, having it released from their muscle memory by a canine massage therapist, a cranial sacral practitioner, acupuncture and/or chiropractic, may be the best money spent.  Sometimes bad memories are stored in their bodies and it is our job to help them find the therapy to get it out.  Also the word “rescue” has such a negative, sad, forlorn vibration to it.  If you were to close your eyes and think of the word rescue, it automatically brings up unwanted feelings, quite literally.  So start referring to the day that you adopted your friend as the “lucky day”.  Encourage people that are in the rescue world to start finding other words like “sanctuary”.  Nothing leads to bad behavior faster than the word rescue.  We feel sorry for them and let them get away with things we wouldn’t let a kid do.  There still have to be boundaries.  Chances are good that if you are a caring guardian and are reading a magazine like this to learn to be better, your animal is already on the road to a charmed life.  So just start expressing and enjoying it more!!   But don’t forget boundaries and training.

Staying mad about an episode in the past.

This can create the never ending cycle of really bad behavior.  Animals pick up on the pictures words and feelings of their guardians very quickly.  When we hang on to an episode that infuriates us, unfortunately, we are creating a billboard for them to replicate the behavior.  They are not necessarily picking up on our feelings about the event; they just see the instant replay in our mind and think they need to do it again.  If your cat isn’t using the litter box and you’ve run blood work and you’re quite sure the problem is behavioral, rather than to cling to the image, try to sort out what they are ‘pissed off’ about while at the same time, picture them using the litter box.  I know this is difficult but you can’t let your mind slip – not even at work.  Forgive the behavior and send the picture you want.

Being fearful of how the animal will behave.

Again, this is billboard material.  And when we get a little panicky about something – i.e. our dog gets leash aggressive and we don’t want to see any of the neighbors, unfortunately, we are setting them up not only in our mind but in our body language and the tone in our voice.  At this point the time and money spent on a good dog trainer is worth its weight in gold.  You can’t afford the fear and must remember, you are in charge – it is your home, in fact at that moment, you need to provide them with security.  Fake it until you make it down the road the first day and then call a dog trainer.

I am not pointing the finger at anyone.  Over the years I have made all of these mistakes with dogs, cats, horses, etc.  What I have found in life is there are no mistakes only lessons.  Our animal companions offer these so graciously!!

Joan Ranquet is an Animal Communicator, Speaker and Author of Communication with all Life, Revelations of an Animal Communicator published by Hay House. For more info, go to www.joanranquet.com.

MyPictureTeddyBear.com, a new online company based in Quincy, Mass. has taken the iconic stuffed animal to a new level. The company, whose motto is “hug a memory”, creates custom-designed, collectible teddy bears wearing t-shirts printed with personalized pictures and text. The brains behind this new venture are long-time friends Priscilla Marotta, Ph.D. a clinical psychologist, and Angelina Moscato, an educator.

Inspiration for the business came from their experience in their respective fields. In their work with both children and adults, Marotta and Moscato see an unfulfilled need to celebrate relationships and memories, as well as universal “touch hunger”. “Our bears are 10 on the huggable scale” says Dr. Marotta. With My Picture Teddy Bears, people can preserve memories, display photographs in a unique way, and cherish the special people in their lives.

My Picture Teddy Bear is also a new line of exciting collectible teddy bears, which have marked a huge trend over the past ten years. With the ability to personalize your bear, it provides multiple options for gift giving, including Valentine’s Day, birthday, as well as everyday giving. My Picture Teddy Bears are individually numbered and recorded in a registry. Teddy bears are an icon of Americana. The collectibles add a special touch. “Collectibles like teddy bears give us a sense of security in this fast paced, technological world”, said Founder Dr. Priscilla Marotta.

Each year a new combination of bears will be introduced on www.MyPictureTeddyBear.com. “Tennyson” and “Tully” and are the first in the series. The bears are crafted with silky, medium-length fur and lifelike details such as paw pads. The Star Bears Collection is named to reflect that purchasing a bear makes someone a “star’. The collection will feature a pair of bears for each letter of the alphabet. The founders started with T to reflect the thirty years of their friendship.

This is a “feel good” company from the quality and personalization of the bears to the company’s commitment to donating to selected charities. A portion of each purchase, at no extra cost to the customer, is given to the selected charities. Two charities help domestic violent victims, Dove, Inc. and Women in Distress, another supports the health of women, National Women’s Health Network, Action Against Hunger is dedicated to eliminating hunger, Work-Life Balance Institute supports women in meeting their career goals, , and CureSearch is the world’s premier pediatric cancer research organization. These are six carefully selected charities that do outstanding work.

The personalized teddy bears appeal to people looking for unique gifts to give —and mementos to keep—to commemorate special events such as a child’s first recital, leaving for college, weddings, and longstanding friendships. “My daughter was leaving for college, and I was down in the dumps. Imagine my delight when she surprised me with Tennyson and a picture of us together! The bear is so huggable; he brings a smile to my face. The soap is so cute and smells like honey! I use it every morning and it reminds me of my daughter.”

Feelings! Feelings! For many people, feelings are not a favorite topic to think about or talk about. There are many reasons people refuse to take a look at their feelings. The top 12 or the dirty dozen are:

1. Feelings Hurt. I recently had a conversation with a friend who some years ago lost her husband, her buddy and best friend. At this point in her life, she would like to have another relationship. However, she knows that she is still grieving the loss of her husband. She talked about a weekend grief seminar that she attended and how much it hurt to bring up the feelings related to her husband’s illness and death. Her comment was, “I know that I need to work through some more of those feelings, but it hurts too much!” She is not alone in resisting this. Many people are reluctant to take a look at feelings because it brings the sting of the pain back to their awareness and they feel it all over again. They would rather walk around avoiding these bruises and scars than go through the process to heal them. The only problem with that strategy is that those unresolved feelings are like a brick wall around their life – and that wall is stopping many wonderful experiences.

2. I will get Hurt again. All of us have had bumps and bruises in our life. They don’t feel good! We often remember that hurt and protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. Why should we put ourselves in a similar situation, again, because we know we will be bruised one more time? The assumption is that we’ll be rejected, embarrassed, or fail again and no matter how miserable and stuck we feel, we’re going to avoid that possibility. The fear of being hurt or failing is such a big elephant that we can’t walk around it. It stops us cold in our tracks! The panic is so huge we can’t take a step to overcome it. However, focusing on the unresolved hurt, instead of healing it stops us from trying something new – a relationship, job, or our lifelong dream – because we are afraid of being hurt again. So, this is a double-edged sword – the fear of being hurt stops us and as a result we stop ourselves from receiving something new in our lives.

3. I want to be Safe. Sometimes we cling to the false belief that past experiences have taught us valuable lessons about being safe. Once hurt – never to be hurt again! I’ve heard several friends comment that they were no longer looking for a relationship, because it just wasn’t worth the emotional turmoil. I had a friend who spent 5 years adding 50 pounds to her body as a means to be safe – the logic was that if she were heavier and unattractive, she would not attract another companion and get hurt again. When she decided to take down the brick wall, the 50 pounds also melted away and a new, healthy relationship emerged. Consider that sometimes Safe is more of a personally imposed prison, instead of a shelter or sanctuary. Safe is not Safe.

4. It has become a Habit to avoid feelings, to stuff them. We are creatures of habit – unconsciously carrying out the same patterns of behavior – just because that is the way we have always done things. We follow the same pattern when we get up in the morning to get ready for work – shower, dress, eat breakfast, etc. This also applies to feelings. It becomes an accepted habit to tell ourselves that it’s ok if Joe was rude, Mary forgot my birthday, my boss took credit for my idea, or Bob didn’t keep his promise. Any one of these things can generate feelings of anger, hurt, rejection, injustice or distrust. How do we deal with these feelings? Do we say, “Oh, that’s all right, I know he didn’t really mean to do that?” Do we make excuses for the other person’s behavior – while refusing to acknowledge that there’s smoke coming out of our ears because we are so upset? Putting a false smile on our face while seething inside is a habit that is detrimental to our health. Pent-up feelings eventually explode or we become ill because we have stuffed them. Take care of yourself, deal with feelings, and live a healthy life.

5. Feelings are Messy and Out-Of-Control. We don’t want to wreck our image. Who wants to be seen as a blubbering idiot? That is soooo not cool! For some, showing feelings, particularly sad or painful ones is not acceptable. For some really cool cats, showing any kind of feelings – happy or sad – is not acceptable. Some people go through life in neutral – not being exceptionally happy or very, very sad. They don’t allow themselves to experience the extremes either way – but choose to stay the middle course where strong feelings don’t exist. It’s cleaner that way. Everything stays in place and control, like a super tidy house with everything always perfectly in place. In those houses one often wonders where the stuff of everyday living is hidden. Likewise, with people living in neutral, one wonders whom this person is since there is no expression of feelings to indicate likes, dislikes, joy or sadness, or any other feelings exhibited by humans. There is nothing of the wonderful complexity of a human being to share and enjoy.

6. Feelings are Unexpected. Someone trips our trigger, or pushes our button and our emotions rage. We find our anger flaring, our gut in a knot and a string of expressive words roaring out of our mouth. We find we cannot stop the string of words – they flow like a flood – with such force that we are stunned at the sound of our own voice. We all have trigger points and when the button is pushed we respond as if on automatic pilot. It happens in an instant and the strength of the feeling drives us beyond our usual behavior. There is often a person, a specific situation, or a perceived injustice that serves as the trigger. However, this happens to all of us at one time or another. It is part of being human.

7. Society tells us to be Logical and Reasonable – not emotional. Culture has taught to value science, math, logic and reason. We have not been encouraged to notice and value feelings. Many people feel threatened by feelings strongly expressed. This is true whether it’s raging anger with yelling and screaming or pure, glorious happiness – beaming with joy. When observing strong feelings, some people are very uncomfortable and don’t know how to respond to these extremes. They often don’t know how to express their own feelings – so they are uncomfortable when others express these strong feelings. This aversion to feeling is like being stuck in neutral – feeling little joy, little pain – just huddled in the mundane everydayness of living. In neutral, one loses both the joys and sorrows of living. We are more alive when we feel and express the full range of feelings. Being aware of feelings makes living more intense and sometimes that is the very reason we avoid feelings. We are afraid the magnitude of feeling will overwhelm us.

8. Feelings Interfere With Life – one can’t work, concentrate, focus, etc. when feelings are raging. Members of my family recently had some health challenges and in the midst of the illnesses I found my concentration lacking, my interest waning and a general inability to function. When one has a concern about the health and well-being of a loved one, the priorities change and what was once important ceases to be of consequence. All that matters is the healing of the family member. This kind of intense feeling is draining, leaving you exhausted and without energy. The ordinary functions of living seem unimportant. In these situations, we can be expected to be pre-occupied and anyone else who has experienced this understands this.

9 We are in a Pity Party. Feeling sorry for oneself has many benefits. It keeps you from really looking at those feelings and doing something about them. Very possibly, it can bring lots of attention from others, who are sincerely interested in helping you to get off the party wheel. For what happens in a pity party is that you don’t want to stop the wheel. It is too much fun to go round and round, wallowing in the muck of feelings and maybe blaming someone or something else for the situation. I know this game and have played it – sometimes for long periods of time and sometimes I’ve been strong enough to kick myself in the rear and boot myself out of it. This party is actually not much fun, pretty depressing, and certainly keeps one stuck in the mud. We’re so focused on feeling sorry for ourselves that we can’t see any options to making the situation better or any way of moving ourselves forward. We are very busy keeping the party alive. However, this is a destructive party and I encourage all to end it.

10. There is a Benefit or Payoff to keeping feelings intact. When we hang onto negative feelings, there is some benefit or payoff that we are getting from doing that. The question is “What is the benefit?” Sometimes being hurt gets the attention of giving people, whereas if we are happy we don’t get as much sympathy. Even better, people do things for us they wouldn’t do if we were happy. Also, if we believe we don’t have the ability to get that degree or a better job, then it keeps us from putting ourselves at risk of failing. We proved we didn’t fail, but we also proved that we were too afraid to risk winning. The payoff – it keeps us exactly where we are in comfortable safe territory where we never have to stretch and grow. This lack of decision could be a life-threatening payoff. It could keep us in situations in which we feel no excitement, fulfillment or meaning in our lives. How many times have you seen people who are like the living dead? They are walking through life without living. There is always a payoff for not facing feelings. Feeding the payoff is a fear that is bigger and more powerful than taking steps for positive change.

11. We don’t understand the Benefits Of Healing feelings. Anger, rejection, or any other hurtful feelings are rocks that we are dragging through life. Sometimes if we’ve carried the bruise for a long time, they become boulders that literally stop us from moving forward at all. We shut down our heart, make wimpy decisions, fail to take action, and limit our choices and options. They stop us from fully living our lives. We put on hold our potential for a loving, fulfilling, happy life. Trust me, there are great benefits in healing.

12. We see no Hope of ever healing feelings. If we think we cannot heal them, we will probably not even try. If we believe the hurtful ones are an inevitable part of our life and cannot be changed, that will be our reality. Let’s be real – life will bring pain and it will bring joy. We can take the feelings from these experiences and use them to grow or we can use them to stop ourselves. Feel it to heal it! Don’t drag feelings up from the deep only to let them float in top of the water and sink your boat. Allow them to surface, notice them with the intent to heal them, and process them until they heal. The process outlined in I.M. Heart works. I’ve lived it. I am in process. Is it always easy, painless, and quick? No, it is a process – just as life is a process – but the benefits of staying the course are great.